Sorry for the disappearing act folks. Life's been in a bit of turmoil lately. I haven't abandoned the site, just haven't been able to get back in the groove. In the meanwhile, I've been noodling around at Tumblr. You can find my current interests reflected there: philosophicalwax.tumblr.com I'm working to merge the two sites, but website design is not my forte. Thanks for keeping up with me better than I keep up with you.

DAN the MAN

Let's Clash again

First off, it's a terrible title. Not the words per se, as you've got both CLASH and TITANS in it, two bombastic words that just scream action! conflict! No, it's a bad title because there are no actual Titans in it. In either movie, actually. Not to get too Greek here, but the Titans were the guys that Zeus defeated to take over the world. True, the opening narration tells a brief version of this tale, but in whole you don't call a movie Clash of the Titans if no Titans clash in it. It's false advertising.

Aside from that, the movie was awesome.

No truly. I thought this was a bad idea, not just for nostaliga's sake, but because of how many good movies have not been made. They got it right the first time, isn't there something we haven't seen before? But they found a way. While the first was more of an adventure tale, travelling all over ancient Greece, meeting strange people and gathering forces, this version is much more visceral in that they don't care why they are going somewhere, just as long as there's a great action sequence waiting there for them. Despite what the previews would have you believe, this is not a total CGI-fest. There is a lot of it, but it's by sequence. Most of the environments were actual sets, not green screen. While most of the monsters, giant scorpions, Medusa, are CGI, many are done with make up or even puppetry. They all work in their moments and all blend to a larger whole. One of the moments that gave all of us in my group a Whoa moment was done via puppetry, but was cool and creepy.

But in a movie like this, it stands or falls based on characters. You can do disaster porn like 2012 and convince yourself it's about the human story, and that's what they tell the actors, but we all know it isn't. In a hero's quest, you've got to be invested or the struggle doesn't work. Here's where the movie goes from A to B. The supporting cast is amazing. All these soldiers are given these clever lines and quirks and personified by actors who know to make a lot from a little. One veteran delivers one line so well we instantly fall in love with him. So much so that in his next scene, he only gets a reaction shot to the events happening around him and the audience howled with laughter. Were his exit so memorable...but I digress. The same cannot be said of our champion, he who has been chosen to save the city. After a surprisingly effective family montage, ending of course with a “you killed everyone I loved, now you must die” our simple fisherman become a simple warrior. The trouble comes with the actor.

From what I gather, Hollywood banked on the fact that this guy, Sam Worthington, was going to be the next big thing. Minimal research here, but James Cameron picked him to be the lead in a little film called Avatar. Heard of it? From this, he got tapped for Terminator Salvation and our topic du jour. All of these were shot before anyone had even seen his face on the silver screen. In other words, Hollywood decided this guy was going to be the next big star without any input from the paying crowds. How well does this plan work? Ask Josh Hartnett. If you can find him.

The trouble is this: in what we need an action star to be, dear Sam trying-so-hard Worthington is sadly lacking. What do Arnold, Bruce, Statham, Wil Smith have in common? They're cool. And Sam, sadly is not. Execs have never been that great in finding cool, only in honing it. Sam's got the chops, but seems to me he'd be better as a thug than a hero. I can see him standing next to the drug lord. “Mr. Dominic, show him we're serious with our offer.” Stern nod, harsh look, you know he means business. This movie is saved by the strong supporting cast, and great direction from Louis Leterrier, who's fast becoming one of my favorites of the new breed, the post-Bay directors.

I had a great time at Clash. It worked on more levels than I expected. It's turned into one of the highlights of the spring movie season. I could really say best at this point, as the spring season only has three more weeks when Iron Man 2 arrives and brings summer with it, inside the movie houses at least. It was everything it needed to be and nothing it didn't.

I posted this so my wife would be able to easily find it, but I've become fascinated by netbook, palm tops, portable computing all around. And I don't mean getting a smarter, and faster, phone. There are some things a phone sized device is just not good for. I have a netbook, and I like it, but it's still just a smaller, dumber computer. I want the next thing. And that next thing isn't an iPad. I was jazzed when it was announced and as they talked more and more about it, I realized they just took their iPhone and embiggened it. That's not what I'm after. But Microsoft has yet to really enter the playing field. Their concept, shown below, is like nothing I'd imagined. Don't know if it's for me, but it is astounding in a way iPhone XXXL is not. Have a look.

A Girl Walks Into An Alley...

Today is the 13th Anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was 4745 days ago that the first episode of Buffy aired on the now defunct WB network, back when they still had a singing frog between shows. Not many remember that the show was a midseason replacement. I know because I was there.

This has the potential to be one of those I Knew It Before You stories, like the fact that it seems we all know a Baby Boomer who went to Woodstock. That's not my intention though. The nice thing about geek shows is the telling of how you got into it is part of the cultural experience, unlike say hipsters who abandon a band when they become too popular.

Truth is, I followed the writer. It was 1997. I was finishing up my college classes while working full time, living at home of course. At this point, I was just formulating the idea that would become a central premise in my life, the search for why I liked what I liked, to discover the people who made the entertainment I enjoyed, the search for the creative DNA of the shows, movies, books I loved. This search led me to an article in a sci fi magazine whose name escapes me. (I know it became a online only news site before finally folding. Boy, that's gonna bug me.) In this article, I was introduced to a young writer with an impressive resume. He had helped to write Toy Story, Speed and Alien Resurrection. He also was the writer of the big screen Buffy that I was not a fan of, despite a fantastic turn by Paul Reubens. Turns out, Joss was also not a fan of the movie he wrote. Intrigued, I kept reading.

He talked about all the problems he had with their version of the movie and the parts the bugged him. I agreed with everything he said. He talked about the movies he loved. Same ones as me. And he had a great take on Star Wars being a 'lived in universe' and them calling the Falcon a piece of junk being a transcendent moment in sci fi movies. This guy was speaking my language. Joss talked about how he wanted to create a show that was not only funny but also truly scary, with kids who talked like kids not mini-adults. It was his vision well articulated that made sure I would not miss out on seeing his show.

I sat down and watched this show with the silly title and was blown away. It was funny in a way I had never seen before. The characters were talking about movies I'd seen and books I'd read. This stuff is commonplace now, but back in 1997 referencing was unheard of outside of MST3k. And it was genuinely creepy. Heck, one of the main characters is killed in the first episode. I watched every one of those 13 episodes and told everyone I knew about this show. Not many listened. But over the course of the summer, they replayed the show and I videotaped (yes, it was that long ago) every episode. I started showing them to my friends, getting them all hooked on this little show on a little network. So began an obsession, and thirteen years of joy.

I've had the honor of meeting my hero twice, and while I didn't explain to him how he changed my life, I also didn't completely embarrass myself in front of him. Something about that show really affected me. It made me laugh and cry and tell everyone I know about it. I've watched a lot of TV, had a vast collection of video tapes with complete seasons on them before the advent of DVD, but no show has had as much of an impact on me as Buffy. Can't imagine anything else will. It was the right show at the right time done just right. And it all started 13 years ago today.

Go Ask Alice...

why this movie isn't better.

I got a chance to see a sneak of Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland 3D. First off, if you haven't been clued into it by now, this movie is a sequel. This is not Tim Burton's version of the classic Lewis Carroll stories about Alice visiting Wonderland for the first time or even her second time back through the looking glass. No, the movie is about an 18 year old Alice seeing how Wonderland has changed. Hardcore geeks will recognize this tale as having been told in the video game American McGee's Alice, with the movie adaptation long in development hell, now totally dead. I'll try to avoid spoilers as we proceed, mostly referring to tone and feel rather than plot points, but one man's allusion is another man's movie ruining moment.

I'm beginning to doubt the theory that Tim Burton is a visionary filmmaker and auteur of the highest order. Why? Because filmmakers make films, they don't remake them. Tim hasn't done an original film in what, a decade? Two? Everything he does is an adaptation or a remake. Now I'm not against either type, but what happened to the days of Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands? Now the studios just dig out their catalogs and wonder what old material they can get a Tim Burton spin on?

And it's a shame, because the script her is actually a pretty good one. And in the hands of a passionate filmmaker, one who hadn't done this same thing with the same people half a dozen times, it might have been significant. What is is, is exactly what you'd expect. It's pretty good. It's beautiful and weird and Johnny Depp dances all over it, switching between crazy accents. But under it all is a really interesting story about growing up and choices and how you see the world that's secondary to seeing crazy CGI lengthened limbs and giant heads. That being said, I dug a lot of the digital work. There were some real artists sitting at keyboards for this one. The Cheshire Cat was great, well voiced and fascinating to watch whenever he was on screen. All the background animals in the Red Queen's castle were alive with personality even if they never spoke. The card soldiers were cool and creepy. The growing and shrinking effects were pretty cool. Some weird design choices took me right out of the movie. I never got over the bizarre giant head of Helena, or the jittery March Hare. I spent most of the time with Tweedles Dee and Dum trying to place the actor instead of listening to them. And the extra long limbs on the Knave were more distracting than enhancing.

It tends to get a wee bit confusing, as underneath what's going on is making Wonderland from a childish fantasy into a real, complex fantasy world on par with Narnia or Oz. The kingdom has a name, as do all of the characters, beyond their “titles” which leads to people calling, say, the Mad Hatter by that name or by his real name. And since all the characters do this, it does momentarily puzzle as you wonder who they are talking about. Oh right, that's the Red Queen's OTHER name. But Burton doesn't seem to care about this aspect, so it's only there to annoy instead of enhance. Who cares about a deeper plot? Put in more twisty trees!

I'm being hypercritical, I know. Everyone who sees this will dig it. They'll praise the crazy visuals and the 3D effects and Johnny Depp newest crazy character, and they won't be wrong. But I can't help but think of this one as being phoned in by the man in the director's chair. This will not inspire legions of devoted fans, cosplay fervor, or Hatter tattoos. It's simply exactly what you'd expect from putting Tim Burton and Alice together. And that's exactly what we got.

Dead on Target

I'm a black widow television fan. It's true, whatever shows I enjoy always die. No, better, I'm the Typhoid Mary of TV, what I love...I kill. My mother is the one who brought this to my attention 20 years ago. It was right after some show I adored had been killed, maybe Misfits of Science or Automan. And so it is with a heavy heart I condemn another quality enterprise to one season wonder status: I have fallen for Human Target.

From my earlier trepidation about how much of the central concept was altered, I have come to judge the show on its own merit, not on my preconceived notions and have found it amazing. Why does it work so well? Here's my theory. Action movies died in the mid 90s. No, it's true. It's nearly impossible to find a quality action film after The Rock. It's a bookend of a film. But what about superheroes, you ask? They are their own new popular genre. What I mean by action movie is one that doesn't involve costumes, aliens, supernatural forces, anything beyond that one Super Science device that doesn't quite exist, but might. Eagle Eye would be at the far end of that scale. Now, we've had a bit of resurgence, but it's mostly coming from Europe. Here in the good old US of A, we're still too concerned about filmgoers getting upset at watching people blow up buildings instead of aliens or mummies. It doesn't mean I don't want to watch them even if they stopped making them. Now I get what my dad was talking about with westerns after we went to see Silverado.

The genre flatlined and moved to television, where the ideas are big but the budgets are small. You didn't get to see Will Smith firing a machine gun, but you could watch Chuck Norris beat up the same stuntmen in different wigs ever week. Now we've come to a new era where the quality of the picture has met the high standards of Hollywood stunts with much improved visual effects (no more green screen auras!). Human Target is, essentially, a great action movie every week. It's like Die Hard or Lethal Weapon where you don't have to wait 15 years between gradually diminishing adventures (also known as the Ow! My knees! Factor). Every week, new thrills, new chills, new fights. And I know it'll all turn out all right, that Chance will defeat the bad guy, but like every great action movie, I get caught up in it. But this will all be for naught, as it's a great show, it has sci-fi elements and it's on Fox. Time to get my heart broken again.