Booze Cruise

Whenever my wife says "Wow, that's a really good point." I know I've got fodder for a new posting. What follows is something that I've been saying for years that now I put down for the Interwebs to read. It's a simple idea that comes from vast frustration. The latest in a string of stars getting wasted and getting behind the wheel, Keifer Sutherland was arrested for DUI. And I can't help but wonder why. Here's the thing: He. Is. Rich. Maybe not Bill Gates rich but still, syndication money is don't-need-to-work-anymore money. Why do you think Ray Romano's been MIA for years? But here's the issue: somehow I doubt Keifer's out alone. He's not heading out to the local Dew Drop Inn and getting blitzed, climbing behind the wheel of his Dodge Dart while blasting his favorite Whitesnake cassette only to have his high school rival, now a traffic cop pull him over next to the Feed Store. Chances are he, like the rest of the Booze Cruisers, is out with a bunch of friends, a handful of security and a cellular telephone. It's simple. You've got a dozen people around you, get one of them to drive. Or better yet, designate one of your assistants/bodyguards/peons the position of driving your lush ass around. Even Arthur knew better and he had Sir John Gielgud to chauffeur him around. Just hand T-Money the keys and he'll get you home. Don't want to get a cab? Fine, rent a limo. Hell, buy a limo. You're rich, why don't you have a limo and someone to drive you around in it? I have absolutely no sympathy for any star caught drunk driving. They have absolutely no excuse and way more blame. Apparently, some subjects are just too simple for celebrities to understand.

I know I'm onto something when the same idea pops up elsewhere. Here's a slightly different version of the same idea from SNL's Weekend Update.

If you'll forgive, I have a FIGHT to FINISH. In the meantime in between time, enjoy a bizarre meeting of HALO and MONTY PYTHON.

Another Piece of the LOST Puzzle

It's fall TV time and it's weirding me out that there's no new Lost. I know that it's coming back in February and running continuously but it still feels odd that the shows are coming back and Jack, Kate, Sawyer and the rest are nowhere to be seen. The show creators apparently feel the same way, as they've just 'unearthed' a piece of film from the Dharma Initiative. And, hey, Dr. Candle has still got both arms! Enjoy.

Oh, and while were on the subject, the Season 3 DVD set comes out December 11th. Also, Damon and Carlton mentioned that the mad one-eyed Russian who caused so much trouble last year is really most sincerely dead. And good riddance too. On with the show.

Once Upon a ... Why? - Sydney White

Originally, this movie was entitled Sydney White and the 7 Dorks. Get it? It's a modern retelling of the Snow White story set at a modern college campus. The witch is a snobby sorority girl with the last name of Witchburn and the sleep Sydney can't wake from is after pulling an all nighter to get a term paper finished. Clever, right? I don't know why people keep making these updated fairy tale movies. They seldom turn out well and what usually happens is that the story is then forced to add bizarre turns just to hit one of the plot points in the original story. This movie is relatively harmless. It's got some clever points and most of the performances are solid. It's got Matt Long from Jack & Bobby and Ghost Rider, Danny Strong from Buffy and Samm Levine from Freaks & Geeks. The latter two end up playing the characters they always play, surly nerd and lovestarved loser respectively, but they do it well. You've also got John Schneider who seems like he was born to play great fathers, as he's just so effortlessly good at it. And lastly Amanda Bynes. I still think that one of these days she's gonna hit huge. But this is not that role. Once a great director gets her to calm down her overactive, Nickelodeon trained over indicating, that is every thought writ large across her face, she'll get some notice. But something's got to be done about her color. She has the orangest tan I've ever seen on a celebrity. I thought it was odd in Hairspray, but that movie is a bit over saturated, so I let it go. But here she's a traffic cone. I don't know if she spends too much time laying out and just tints oddly or hits the spray place a bit too often, but she's definitely too far down the rainbow. But here she's sweet and smart and only falls down a few times. This is definitely a late night cable stumble across type movie though. In a theater, it just fades.

Awesome/Awful

Here we are, the fall TV season has started and I am way not ready. Those lovable lugs from Prison Break are back and I'm a bit torn. They call came back with their moody demeanor, spouting off about past hurts and deep conspiracies and I had no idea what they were talking about. It's been a busy six months and I have forgotten much that has transpired in your dense world of sweating and running. Usually this would be solved by watching of the DVD set of the previous season. But with little Version 2.0 soon to make her appearance, that set had to move from the Must Buy list to the Hope I Get It For Christmas list. And so I spent half the episode wondering if this was a creative innovation or a desperate attempt to catch lightning in a bottle one last time. I really can't be sure. They've got new conspiracies and new threats, but I think we're getting into also ran territory. I would have like to see Michael step up a little bit. He's been in prison before, you'd think he figure out the power structure a little better. I don't need to know everything, but I need to know he's working on a plan. Not just that he likes to take long walks in the sun while wearing his hoodie. I'm still going to stick with it. I just hope there's a recap show somewhere out there.

We Love Ourselves, Don't We? : Emmys '07

There is nothing like an award show to let me know how little I understand the beast that is Hollywood. I'd expect that someone like me would be keyed into the vibe enough to reasonably pick who the big winners would be, but then I would be wrong. Just goes to show me. Who do I think I am anyway?

This year we get to clean out more deadwood (Alas, Deadwood, we hardly lauded you at all.) with the demise of the way overhyped and analyzed HBO series The Sopranos. I don't think the ratings ever held up to all the hoopla. But I guess it doesn't matter how many are watching only that the right people were watching. And thus it was with shocked glee I saw James Spader walk out the door with Mr. Soprano's golden lady. Everyone in the room was shocked, right up to James himself with his clever "I feel like I just stole from the Mob." off the cuff ad lib. I have no idea how he won over the rest, but I think I'm pleased. The show took an award for itself. Fine. Take your prize. Just leave. How about making some space for newer, hungrier shows?

I get the nicety of winning an award. I do. Never done it myself, but I'm hep to the jive. You put your work up to their work for a particular year and see who comes out on top. But what I don't get, and likely will never get is the idea of someone winning for the same role on the same show year after year after year. If you haven't won, sure. But once you have your Emmy, what's the point of getting three or four? Why is Tony Shalhoub still entering his name into competition? You did it. You won. Move on. Once you start a new show, come back. But to come in year after year is either greedy or sad or both. I can't help but feel a little schadenfreude seeing Ricky Gervais walk off with the trophy. And I don't feel bad for Tony at all.

I wished Neil Patrick Harris would win, but I knew better. His nomination was the award, and I think he knew it. At least it lets people know to find the show, which happens to be one of the best comedies of all time. But another jaw dropper for me was watching Katherine Heigl win over her two cast mates and three THREE! Sopranos chicks. I think Heigl is a very talented actress and worthy of accolades, but last season was awful and her storyline was the worst. Of the three Grey's candidates, I thought her stuff was by far the weakest. Great gal, but a terrible choice for praise. And then to absolutely right on choices that I never thought had a chance: Jamie Pressly and Terry O'Quinn. Absolutely right on. Both of them are great talents on amazing shows coming off some of their strongest work ever. And maybe that'll stop Terry from all the moaning and groaning he's been known to do on set. Yes, Carlton and Damon have a plan and IT. IS. WORKING.

But my moment of the night has to be Colbert and Stewart, having come off a terribly overwritten and unfunny bit, deciding that instead of excepting the award on behalf of a missing Ricky Gervais, that they would instead give it to their friend Steve Carrel. Master of timing, Steve came running down and the three celebrated his "win" on stage for a couple minutes. It was comedy gold and totally unplanned and genius. Second favorite would be Lewis Black's preaching to the choir about the evils of TV execs. He was right on the money and had that audience in the palm of his hand. And the less said about Family Guy's fish in a barrel opening sequence the better.

Overall, it was a pretty good show. It kept moving (very little FFWD on the Tivo remote) and Seacrest managed to not make the event about him or his stupid karaoke show and stay out of the way. I like when they take chances and get new ideas. I also love watching the grumpy stars who aren't being treated like Superstars grousing and moaning about it on stage. Good stuff.

Tears and Bullets: The Brave One

For the last few weeks, I've been referring to this film as the 'Shooting & Crying Movie.' Having now seen it, I was right on the money. It's not necessarily a bad film, but it's a schizo and heavy handed one. It's terribly overwritten, with the Wise Black Woman having to deliver lines like "Dying is easy. It's living that's hard." with straight face, and then leaving us with the swelling music so we have time to reflect on such insight, like we haven't already heard it a hundred times in a hundred other movies and TV shows. The dialogue is stilted and unnatural, but with everyone squinting and looking serious you don't notice so much. This movie takes it's time. In other words, it's boring. I don't understand why they felt they needed to do Death Wish with a woman. She shoots, she cries, she sits alone in the dark, repeat for two hours. What was the insight here? That plus the unbelievability that every time this woman goes out on the street, she gets involved with a violent crime. Sorry, but some people can live their whole lives in NYC without having an evil person mess with them and she finds like four in a week. Maybe I'm too harsh, but I just don't get the point of a movie that preaches how bad vigilantism is and how violence can destroy a life, and then turns around and endorses exactly what it stood against.

Trifecta

Despite all the life upheaval, I have managed to see a few films in the last week. And am I on a hot streak. I have seen three amazing movies in a row. This time of year, I count myself lucky to see one much less a trio. I know that'll come to an end this week, but that's a post for another day. Like tomorrow. For today, it's all good.

Stardust - I can't believe I waited this long to watch this movie. Like most of America, I totally underestimated it. Comparing it to The Princess Bride is apt, but misleading. TPB had a winking, knowing quality. You always knew that this was a story someone was telling. Stardust is a fable and wants you with it from start to finish. And it's an amazing piece of work. It really gets your heart soaring and mind reeling with amazement. It's got amazing performances and some great effects. Do yourselves a favor and don't miss seeing this while you can. In a couple of years, people are going to rediscover this movie and wonder why they didn't see it in theaters. Don't be that guy.

3:10 to Yuma - I forget how much I love seeing great actors just doing their thing. I'm a fan of modern westerns, which is not easy when you're lucky to get two in a year. But the real draw was seeing Christian Bale and Russell Crowe go head to head. But it's not just them. These two elevate the playing field making every actor come up to their level. I can't think of a bad performance in the movie. Even Peter Fonda came to play. But in terms of star power, which the two leads have in spades, there's another guy just on the other side waiting for his big break. His name is Ben Foster and he plays Russell's second in command. I've been watching him for a couple of years now and this kid's got talent. He's just one great, showy role away from making a huge splash. If you like him in this, make sure to check out Hostage from a couple of years ago. 3:10 to Yuma is a great western, a thrilling action film and a mighty fine character drama all at the same time.

Shoot 'Em Up - If you think you won't like it, you won't. Rarely have I seen a movie that so creates its own world and then lives in it. To call it a comic book, video game or even gun fantasy movie just doesn't do it justice. It has this amazing energy to it where you just stop thinking about the rules of physics and just go with the madness. And what an amazing ride they take you on. There are so many amazing stunts and clever ideas, I don't even know where to start. I mean death by carrot, mid-air gunfighting, gunbattle mid-coitus, it's one jaw dropper after another. I'll put it like this: until I saw this movie, I thought the year's best action and comedy combination had to be Hot Fuzz. Now there's a tie.

Flip the switch!

Yes, the lights are back on here at NTYC. The move was completed with a great deal of help provided by friends and family. We are about 98% moved in, but most importantly, I have Internet and Cable again. I'm in the process of setting up the office and catching up on everything that's happened in the last week, as I've been completely out of the loop. Normal posting should resume from this point forward. But if you'll excuse me, I have to tell a number of magazine people about my new abode.

Hey there friends and neighbors. Hope you all (are enjoying/enjoyed) your Labor Day Holiday. It was a busy time here as we are moving NTYC HQ to a new locale. At present, we are living in one place while the Internets is on in another. This'll all be resolved in a week, but for the next seven days, updates might be sporadic. But all is well, just very tiring and much busy. And now, I'm off to more laboring.